Parable Bulletproofing: Armoring Up through the Lens of Delayed Gratification
<<TRIAL CLASS JANUARY 3 @1pm: ALL ARE WELCOME>>>
Instant gratification: the desire to experience pleasure of fulfilment without delay or deferment. It is the stuff of instant responses on social media, instant responses to texts, phone calls, and emails, and of instant delivery from Amazon. It is how we wish PR’s and goals inside and outside the gym happened. In this era of instant gratification, putting your head down to work hard, build firm foundations, and lay good groundwork is often overlooked and skipped to get to the ‘good stuff’; the goals, the dreams, the instant here and now. Delayed gratification, therefore, is countercultural; it is hard to do because it is so un-normal in our world today. In the gym, delayed gratification is what actually creates the foundations of fitness and results (this applies outside the gym as well 😉 )
Delayed gratification in the gym looks like putting in work to mitigate our micro imbalances, and teaching our bodies virtuous muscle contractions. In essence, delayed gratification in the gym = bulletproofing of our bodies. Behold… Parable Bulletproofing!
The purpose of Parable Bulletproofing is, really, to take care of YOU- we want the absolute best for each of you. We want you to be the strongest version of yourself, help cut off any potential for injury, and help you lay down even more foundation for the big goals you have in mind. We have high hopes for how Parable Bulletproofing can grow in the future, but for now, we will be offering one weekly dose of healing bulletproofing every Sunday during open gym, for 6 weeks starting on January 10th!
Principles of Parable Bulletproofing:
Prehab = Journey towards optimal physical function of joints, muscles, tendons, etc. Optimal physical function includes flexibility, mobility, stability, strength, and skill. The goal of this programming is to preemptively stabilize and strengthen our bodies both unilaterally and bilaterally so as to mitigate structural and muscular imbalances we might have. If these are cut off at the root, they do not have room to develop into chronic or acute injuries.
Areas of Focus for this 6 Week Cycle:
Shoulder, Hip, Low Back
Shoulder -> Scapular development to mitigate overcompensation of traps, delts, and neck.
Hip -> Glute and hamstring development to mitigate overcompensation of quads, knees, and back.
Low Back -> Stabilizing and strengthening the core to mitigate overcompensation of lumbar.
Program Skeleton for the next 6 Weeks:
Week 1,3,5: unilateral upper body prehab, bilateral lower body prehab, core strengthening
Ex. SA OH DB tempo squat, SA OH KB BU carry, SA DB frontal/lateral/crucifix hold Tabata, waiter’s plate windmills. Defecit clean DL to knee, rdl, Safety bar holds/ hold in dip, sled push
Week 2,4,6: bilateral upper body prehab, unilateral lower body prehab, lumbar/ mid back prehab
Ex. Chaos press, chaos press carry, OH walking lunges, SL wall sit, SL DL, box step downs/pistol variations, front loaded carries (Dball carry/hold, front rack barbell carry, GHD back ext.
Sprinkled into every week: scapular awareness, glute awareness, oblique/ core awareness
Ex. Side plank banded rows, SL glute bridges, KB RDL isometric, crossover symmetry work, push press dip work, scap shrugs, hollow holds, hollow GHD work, plank circles + scap shrugs, contralateral SL KB RDL
What will class look like?
Each class will follow this philosophy of healing movement: blood flow -> activation -> light flexibility -> schmobility -> flexibility. You can expect to see each of these elements during every class! Here is an example of what you might see in class:
100’ Komodo Crawl
15/ea SA banded pull aparts (fix other side to rig @ shoulder height)
* Brace like you mean it, pull scaps DOWN and BACK
15/ea Single Leg banded hamstring curls w/ 2 second hold at top
15/ea Dead bugs
5 forward, 5 back/ea Xiaopang
15 PVC Passthroughs
15/ea Box Pigeon
15 McKenzie Press Ups
10/ea SA Dumbell OH Squats (#AHAM(anageable))
30s Bottom of Goblet Squat in TENSION (active glutes, upright torso, no elbows on knees) #52/35
15 perfect Hollow Rocks
10 Prone PVC Passthroughs (if not available, standing passthroughs with narrow-er grip)
10/ea Hanging hip circles on rings
30/ea Box Pigeon
10 Jefferson Curls
I can’t wait to get armored up with each of you!